I need money this summer, so I agreed to babysit this little 10 year old.
WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE.
I mean, I appreciate the cash, but if someone asked me how I would be spending my summer, I would definitely NOT have jumped to say, "Oh, I'll be watching a little girl who insists on playing Tik Tok over and over and over again while dressing up in my clothes and dancing."
Then, she decides she is hungry.
I say, "Okay, what can I get you to eat. I'll make you anything you like."
She says she wants a peanut butter sandwhich.
So, I make her one.
No, then she says she wants pasta.
So I throw the sandwhich away, and spend 20 minutes making pasta complete with fancy 3 cheese sauce.
(BTW- she insisted that I put the sauce through a strainer, because she doesn't like the chunks of tomato.)
Then, when I'm finally done....
she wants the sandwhich.
I had half a mind to take the sandwhich out of the trashcan and throw it in her face.
Thats not the kind of attitude that makes money.
Anyways, after lunch, I asked her what she wanted to do.
I said we could play a board game, read a book, do arts and crafts, play hide and go seek, watch a movie, listen to music, whatever.
She wants to go to the park.
I was told explicitly NOT to let her go to the park.
So I said no.
To which she threw a fit.
Then, (this girl takes medication everyday for God only knows what), she tried to tell me that she "forgot" to take her medicine.
So, she "needs to go to her house to get it."
Which is right next to the park.
Obviously, she is lying.
So I said no, you can't go.
Then she started making me feel bad for "depraiving her of her necesary medication that keeps her alive."
So I kinda freaked out.
I mean, what if she really DID forget to take her meds??
What if she DIED RIGHT THEN AND THERE?!?!?!
I would be held responsible!!
Anyways, nothing happened.
She was fine.
So, now, she is in my living room dancing to Brittney Spears. At least its a welcome change from Ke$ha.
I wish I could videotape it and show you.
Its so funny.
But kind of innapropriate...
like, she must have watched one too many Brittney music videos.
She is grinding, gyrating, crumping, popping, locking, dropping, and....and...... WOAH!!!!!!!
Ok, now she is on the floor, writhing around and, like, stroking herself and running her fingers through her hair.......
like Ke$ha in that bathtub for the Tik Tok music video.
This kid is 10 years old. Dont forget that, girls.
k, now the dancing is a little cleaner.
Thank you, Jesus.
Ok, now I'm going to get back on track.
Today is my last day of babysitting, so this won't be for too much longer.
Ok, I'm going to make a list.
I'm really into lists lately.
I don't know why.
I just am.
So, Im gonna make a list.
List of random facts about me.
Alrighty, let's go:
1. I NEVER ride in the front seat of a taxicab. NEVER. I don't know why, it's a pet peeve. I just hate it.
2. After a load of laundry, I stick my head in the washing machine, and just smell the freshly washed clothes smell for, like, EVER!
3. I am deeply, profusely in love with Chuck Bass.
4. I am irrivocably disgusted with children today. They have NO CHILDHOOD. They wear makeup and have cell phones and boyfriends and listen to terrible music. I mean, this little girl I'm babysitting says that she " likes bad boys." And "has a hot boyfriend."
5. I can be deep when I wanna be
6. There are so many things racing through my mind all at once that sometimes, I have little mini breakdowns and need to just sit down and clear my mind of all thoughts.
7. I pick the cheese off my pizza
8. I hate Miley Cyrus
9. I love plaid
10. I have had my life planned out since I was 7 years old.
I'm going to move to New York right after high school, go to collage at NYU and get into the Tisch School of Theatre Arts in NYU's theatre district. I'm gonna fall in love with someone and marry them in time, and we are going to have an apartment overlooking the city. I'm going to star in Broadway plays, and vacation to the Hamptons every summer. I am going to have kids and move to California eventually to settle down and raise them there, in a house on the beach. Then, when my kids are gone, I'll move back to the city and live with my husband in a little house in Greenwich Village.
11. I ned bubblegum to live.
12. When I go to sleep, I have to have the back of my neck and head covered with a blanket. Don't ask me why, I have no idea why. All I know is that if I don't there is no way on earth that I will fall asleep.
13. When I eat mint chocolate chip ice cream, I spit out all the chocolate, and then eat it all at the end.
14. Whenever I go to the movies with friends, they get really grossed out, because I insist on putting mustard on the popcorn
15. I have not had my first kiss yet. Even if everything in culture is pushing me to, and even if my friends are starting to, I still am not going to do it unless I love the person. Which will most likely come a lot later. I'm not going to do it just to do it.
16. If I have a dream, I will stop at nothing to make it come true. And I mean nothing.
17. I hate answering phones. Unless it's a parent, or one of my directors or something like that, I will never answer the phone.
18. I have seen every episode of The Simpsons Season 1-22.
19. Summer is my favorite season
20. I have a bunny. His real name is Gilbert. But he scratched me and gave me a permanant scar, so now I refer to the beast as "Killer."
21. I will do almost anything to make you laugh. Even if it means embarassing myself
22. I am the only one of my friends that I know who loves salt and vinigar potato chips.
23. I'm obsessed with three fashion objects: scarves, headbands, and boots.
24. I crack my knuckles, ALL THE TIME
25. I have an eye twitch.
26. I like oldies music.
27. I am a Christian
28. I want to ride an elephant before I die
29. I want to live in France for a short period of time, at some point in life
30. I have a very short attention span. If you are talking about something that bores me, I have the ability to make it look like I care, but in my head, I am thinking all kinds of other things.
31. I eat strange things. I drink soy sauce from the packet, I eat Top Ramen seasoning from the packet, I eat taco Bell Sauce from the packet.
32. But even weirder, I eat paper, chalk, dirt, and lipgloss, straight from the tube. Some people think I have Pica (a disease that makes you crave things that aren't food.) But whatever. :)
Well, that's it.
I hope you liked my list :)
I'll be back soon!
But before I leave, Random Fact of the Day:
IN THE WINTER OF 1932, IT WAS SO COLD THAT NIAGRA FALLS FROZE COMPLETELY SOLID.
tHATS ALL FOLKS!!!
UNTIL NEXT TIME